Too often, when there is a horrific case of child abuse or neglect it emerges that a neighbour or someone else in the community suspected something was up or heard children crying or families yelling.
In some cases, the neighbours are afraid of being called a ‘nark’, like Ngaruawahia woman Cherie Kurarangi Sweeney who says she was victimised for speaking to the police and the media following the death of her neighbour, six month old Serenity Scott-Dinnington in April.
Cherie has since set up a Facebook discussion site to encourage people to speak out against child abuse.
But what realistically can people do if they suspect something is not right next door?
The child abuse prevention network, Jigsaw, says the most important thing is to put the safety of children first.
“First of all, think about what the child needs, not how hard it is for yourself,” says Jigsaw Chief Executive (Strategic Operations) Liz Kinley.
“Very young children can’t do anything about their situation, so it is up to adults to speak for them.
“If you are able, reach out to the family and ask if they need help. Raising children is a big job and can be stressful at times. Everybody needs a hand every now and then. It might be help with picking up children from kindy, school or sports games, or maybe even helping to hang out the washing.”
Kinley says anything that takes a little of the stress away, can help ease tension in a household.
“If you sense that something is still wrong, you could share your concerns about the children with other neighbours, or a teacher, church leader, or members of their extended family or even workmates.”
She recommends phoning a social service agency for advice. Jigsaw is a network of over 40 frontline service providers who work with families and children every day. See www.jigsaw.org.nz for agencies in your area.
Kinley says if the concern persists, then people should swallow all those messages about it being none of their business and ring Child, Youth and Family or the Police.
“The problem is, that if we only try to connect with neighbours when we suspect they need intervention, then nothing much is going to change,” says Liz. “We need to reach out to them before problems escalate.”
That’s why Jigsaw has embarked on a project aiming to make it more normal for whole streets to work together to look after each other and their children.
The Many Voices, One Purpose project, funded with a grant from the Todd Foundation, has so far been operating in Thames, Whangarei and is beginning in Tokoroa.
In the project people are invited to reflect on what made a difference for them as children and how they could use those positive experiences to help others. It has helped grow a social movement, where people are getting braver at introducing themselves to neighbours and strangers, and building a sense of community, with children at the centre.
“We have seen communities and neighbours rally together after crises, such as the Christchurch earthquake and flooding in the North Island, and we want this to be a normal part of every day life.
“It is not a quick fix to the child abuse problem, but in the long term we hope that by communities caring more, we can put an end to the cycle of child abuse and neglect.”
