Proposal: (Tahinga) In December 2007 we travelled to Gisborne for a Christmas holiday. Davika’s birthday was on the 28th and she was bugging me to make sure I got her a present. I had planned to ask her to marry me and sought advice from my brother-in-law. I also did the old-school thing and asked Davika’s father first. His answer was: ‘You never listen to me anyway’. This was a good enough yes for me! On December 27 the whole whanau travelled to Torere, Vika’s home town, to camp. For her birthday, we spent the entire day at the Wainui river, our three children, nieces and nephews were swimming. I seized the opportunity. We started skimming stones on the river and began reminiscing about how we got together. Vika said to me: ‘What the hell are you on?’ Then I got down on one knee and said: ‘We’ve been together for 7 years my darling and I love you very much.will you marry me?’. She looked shocked and started laughing. Her sisters were yelling ‘Tahinga just proposed to Vika, Dad, where’s the camera?’ and somewhere in there she said yes!
Rings: (Davika) We were looking for a wedding ring and could never find the right one. Finally, we thought about a moko. This would be something rare and special that we could customize. We thought of the whai as we both have kaitiaki (guardians) that are whai. The koru on both sides represent Tahinga, me and our whanau. The harakeke in the middle represents the joining of our two whanau. (Tahinga) My cousin Sunnah Thompson is an artist. He designed and also tattooed our moko for us. This in itself was a special ceremony attended by our immediate whanau.
Theme: (Tahinga) Our colour scheme came about because we are high school sweethearts. We both belonged to the same whare at school, this was Rongomatane and our house colour was yellow. Also, Davika wanted me to sing her down the isle, so I did what I was told! (Tahinga sang Westlife’s Flying Without Wings).
Dress: (Davika) I had my dress made. I just wanted something simple and comfy for me. It was really hard to find the yellow that I wanted for the bridesmaid’s dresses, they chose the style themselves. Cake: (Davika) Our Aunty Bernie and Uncle Joe bought our cake. It was meant to have a harakeke piece that went on top. However that never showed up. So thank God I had a multipurpose bouquet! This fitted comfortably on top of the cake.
I do: (Davika) We discussed vows with our minister and he gave us a few books to look through. We asked if he had any in Maori, but unfortunately he didn’t. Then on the wedding day he brought with him wedding vows in Maori that our brother and sister had written as a gift for him.
Something special: The whole day was special for us. However, the venue was particularly special as it is Tahinga’s papakainga, a place where his ancestors lived and where his family continue to live to this day. Everybody got to see it in a new light, as this area is commonly used as the local Touch/Rugby League field. The ceremony was held in Ihumatao on the reserve next to Oruarangi awa. It was important for us to have our babies in our wedding as it was as much their day as it was ours. Our daughters Torerenui a Rua (7) and Te Aroha Kohi Moana (3) were our flower girls and our son Mahaki Maru Tamoko (5) was by his dad as ‘Page boy’.
Honeymoon: No honeymoon. We had planned to go in June but we got another surprise and we are expecting another pepi!
Advice for others: One korero that really helped us late in the planning stages came from our minister Arthur Hokianga: ‘You’re only gonna get married once so do it right and do it well’. Make it one of the most special and memorable days of your life. The secret to a good marriage is just that, a secret! There is no right or wrong answer. However, our secret is that we married the right person and there is nobody else we’d rather be with.
